DAMed if you do, DAMed if you don't
Arizona - North America The Grand Canyon state consists of terrain from the high desert plateau in the northern and eastern sections to the desert basins and jagged mountain ranges in the southern and western parts, broken only by the high, forested mountains in central Arizona. The spectacular Grand Canyon, for which the state is best known, displays its timeless beauty close to the border between Arizona and its northern neighbor, Utah. To the south are the major cities of Phoenix and Tucson, irrigation from the Colorado and Salt Rivers making them green oases in the southern desert. Contents: Arizona State University Grand Canyon Onslaught has arrived. Blast Off stands on a high, craggy peak of the near-moonscape Black Mountains, looking down towards the Colorado River and what is left of the Hoover Dam. Far below, teams of repair crews work feverishly to restore the pinnacle of human engineering to its former glory- as well as restore the power of so many people living in the area. For Blast Off demolished the dam (and the Autobot, Firestar, who was trying to defend it) and right now it is one of the few victories he can still claim ownership of. Most everything else seems marked by failure lately... even the victory of finally offlining Blurr was marred by failure to prevent the Autobots stealing valuable data. So now the quite scruffy and smelly (thanks to his current punishment from Galvatron) shuttleformer stands here, trying to look dignified as he waits for the Commander he just radioed. Knowing Onslaught was coming through the area anyway, he wants the Combaticon leader to personally come see the damage he did. He knows he could use a victory with Onslaught, too, no matter how small or large it might be. The Missile Trailer that is Onslaught comes rolling right on up the road, moving at a gradual pace. In fact, one could almost say that the truck itself is moving with an annoyed speed. It kind of just drags its way through the constant warmness of this state and off in the general direction of where it is set to meet with its Combaticon Brethren. With a slow and stalling turn, the truck flips up and out comes the incredibly villainous ONSLAUGHT. His stance is both annoyed and victorious as he is still riding the high from his recent victory. He approaches Blast Off, while lighting up a cigar and dropping his faceplate to partake in the smoking of it. "Well?" Already he sounds as though his patience is wearing thin. He better not have been called out here for nothing. Blast Off watches Onslaught approach and gives him a nod, while noting the impatience in his voice. Not great, but... surely Onslaught will enjoy seeing the destruction he caused? "Commander. That was a brilliantly planned operation the other day. It was quite ...amusing to observe the Autofool's reactions when Bruticus simply flew away." He stops to look down at the Dam. "However, I know you are a busy mech, and would probably like me to get to the point." Blast Off points down to the dam below. "I... have been having a few set-backs lately, as..." there's an uncomfortable shift of his wing elevons, "... I'm sure you know. But I wanted to make sure you are aware of what your soldier has been up to lately. Like THAT, for instance. With one good shot, I destroyed that Dam (a major source of power in this area, I might point out) AND I offlined the Autobot, Firestar, who was trying to defend it. You were in the area and I thought you might wish to observe the damage personally. In fact, I could go destroy it again right now, if you'd like." he glances over at Onslaught to guage his reaction. "And that's not even all..." Onslaught is keeping an optic on Blast Off as he gets pointed at the destruction that has been caused by the Combaticon. Onslaught, however, does not look impressed. In fact, he looks more bored than anything. But he is at least willing to stand here and go through the motions of listening. He's actually probably planning something out in his head as opposed to actually paying attention to whatever Blast Off is attempting to gloat about. "Indeed." is the only thing Onslaught seems to have to say about everything that Blast Off is happy about. He takes another puff of the cigar that really isn't a puff or anything because he doesn't really need to inhale, being a robot and all. The cigar is just kinda' burning. It's for show, okay? "Anything else?" Onslaught must be really hard to please. Blitzwing has arrived. Blast Off makes a weak attempt at waving away the cigar smoke. Normally he'd make more of an effort, but right now the cigar actually smells better than he does. "Well... yes, I do." He turns to face Onslaught, tilting his head. "You've been chiding me for not defeating Blurr for how long now? Well- did you see my video message? I finally did it, Onslaught! I defeated BLURR! I was actually coming in from orbit when I received the distress call and I sped in as fast as I can (and you know how fast I am!). I sped into the base and dropped Blurr with one shot, when everyone else was having difficulty even hitting him. It was my dedication that finally STOPPED that Autofool!" He stops himself, for a moment, since what happened after wasn't so great but... "I.. I admit I did encounter difficulty with Fortress Maximus after that, and he escaped WITH Blurr despite my trying to stop him..." He looks at Onslaught. "But he *IS* a fortress, after all. Even Scorponok couldn't stop him then. My point is... I did what I said I was going to do." "I've stopped him before. On numerous occasions. Easily." Onslaught makes it very clear that he can take care of Fortress Maximus with ease. Well, it is not really known if this is a fact or not, but he is definitely at least saying that he can. He's very good at saying things and making them believable. Plus, Fortress Maximus is nowhere within audio sensor shot so it is much easier to speak on these terms. "Well. It is nice to see that you consider your mediocre and limited victory over Blurr as a victory at all. Stopping him is nothing compared to destroying him completely and once and for all, but..." Onslaught takes another moment to let the cigar smoke linger. "Baby Steps." There is yet another dramatic moment of pausing and then, "... Anything else?" Blast Off raises an optical ridge and look way uuuuuup at the larger, heavily armored mech. "Yes, well..." He hates to admit this, but, "You're the Leader of the Combaticons and heavily armored. Of course *you'd* have an easier time. Have you seen MY armor lately?" He waves one of his ridiculously-lightly-armored, easily shattered arm shields. "In fact, as an aside, can I get some better armor? If it doesn't take away from my speed, that is..." He looks dubiously at it, then back to Onslaught. "Anyway." He huffs slightly as Onslaught is less impressed than he hoped. "....If you say so." He ponders a moment. "Yes! After my glorious victory over Blurr, Blitzwing could not STAND the thought of my success! In fact, he challenged me to a fight! can you believe the arrogance?" he shakes his head. "Vortex and I met him and Triggerhappy in the training room." He "smirks". "I showed that blowhard exactly who he is dealing with and sent him running with his turbo-tail between his legs... Heh." He gloats. "OHHHH, is /that/ what happened?" A raspy laugh rolls across the dusty landscape, preceding the arrival of a certain triplechanger. Another moment elapses, and the hulking frame of Blitzwing steps up from beyond the horizon to cross the apex of another small hillside, joining the Combaticons - whether or not they like it. Blitzwing smiles fiendishly at Blast Off, looking the smaller mech up and down as if sizing him up for another round, even despite Onslaught being in attendance. The triplechanging jerk deftly twirls a Cybertronian-sized Bowie knife idly about one hand like a play thing. "Turbo tail, eh?" "Speak of the..." Onslaught doesn't dare give Blitzwing the satisfaction of calling him a Devil. Instead, he just goes back to puffing uselessly on the cigar that he's using for epic levels of show. He then proceeds to take his attention back to Blast Off, as if watching to see how he's going to react to this sudden change in the air of conversation. "You were saying?" It is almost as if Onslaught does not believe the words that had just came from the Blast Off. Not if Blitzwing is standing here to speak for himself. Unlike Onslaught's (alleged!) victories over Fortress Maximus. Which are totally true. Honest. Blast Off jumps as Blitzwing's voice suddenly rings out nearby, then takes a step back as Blitzwing lands and twirls his knife with that wicked smile of his. However, the Combaticon shuttle's pride kicks in and, recovering, he straightens himself and glares right back. "Yes. That is EXACTLY what happened." Then Onslaught chimes in and the shuttle looks back at him, flustered. "What?" He points a finger at Blitzwing. "I faced him one-on-one and defeated him. He could hardly TOUCH me. I ran circles around him, just as I always said I would." He cocks his head, sneering up at Blitzwing. "Mech up, Blitzwing, don't deny it." Blitzwing runs a steely thumb along the edge of his over-sized blade, sending a brief jump of sparks from the digit to cascade harmlessly - though most certainly annoyingly - across Blast Off's faceplate. Blitzwing chuckles at the shuttle-con's flustered reaction to his presence, which appears to be exacerbated by Onslaught's lack of faith in Blast Off's word. "Mmmm, I think you may be telling tall tales again, Challenger. Trying really hard to impress Daddy, are we?" The triplechanger laughs again, blowing by Blast Off with a Heisman-esque stiff arm to stand nearer to the Brains of the Operation. "Harrow's got him on some...," Blitzwing's voice fades, and he motions toking a huge phatty with one hand while circling his audial with the other. Blitzwing pantomimes sadness. "You may have to put him down if his condition doesn't improve." He pats Onslaught on the shoulder, taking in a deep (though uncessary) breath, fighting back crocodile tears. "It'll be all right. We'll buy you a new one, promise." "I'd much rather have a new weapon. One that does as it is told. Or... kills Autobots on sight." Onslaught is speaking and planning out this weapon at the same time. "Oooh. Or perhaps one that can lock onto the specific signature of a Prime and once fired will follow Rodimus around until it impacts with terrible and violent fury." Onslaught smiles at this moment, the cigar hanging from his fingers as he imagines the Death of Rodimus Prime by a weapon of his own design. "... Or I could just build another orbital laser." Shrug. It is almost as if he has forgotten that both Blast Off and Blitzwing are here. PLANS. Blast Off winces slightly as Blitzwing sends sparks into his face, then just grows more and more indignant as the triplechanger lauches into his spiel. "WHAT? You CANNOT be serious. You are not REALLY going to pretend that never happened..." By the time Blitz gets to Harrow, the shuttle's optics are flashing purple with anger. "DO NOT mock ME, triplechanger!" He changes stance into a more battle ready pose, legs braced to leap into the air and begin a fight if needed. "I have had QUITE enough... from the LOT of you!" He pauses to furiously scratch a sudden itch on a rusty spot developing on the heat shield on his arm- caused by slag-knows-what he might have caught from the filth of Apeface and Snapdragon. Then is temporarily distracted as part of that heat shield falls off with a clatter onto the rocky ground below. Glaring back up again and attempting to maintain some sort of calmness, the scruffy, smelly, and tired Combaticon then looks incredulously at his Commander. "And YOU! Fine! You want a new weapon? Get me some new ones and I'll be happy to nuke Rodimus from orbit!! And I've killed TWO Autobots in about one week! Ok, maybe not permenantly, but they're like turbo-roaches... you stomp them and they just keep coming back again!" he glares back at Blitz with a growl. "YOU want me to send you packing AGAIN? I can do it, you know..." Blitzwing waves his hand in front of Onslaught's glossed-over-with-new-plans optics a few times before admitting defeat. "He's a goner." The triplechanger gives a 'meh' as he turns back around to one seriously off-kilter Combaticon shuttle-former. Blitzwing laughs at the miniature tirade. "Pretend what happened? Ha ha." Blitzwing rolls the Bowie knife back and forth over his fingers and knuckles casually. He shakes his head as he shoulders through Blast Off again, disrespect to the utmost. "No. You can't. Boy, you Combaticons operate on ego as much as energon. Good thing I have this handy balloon-popper here." Blitzwing smiles widely, showing Blast Off the serrated teeth of his weapon by way up tapping the mech under the chin with the point of the blade. "Remember, ladies, it's not safe being out alone at night. You could be taken advantage of." The triplechanger chuckles before taking off again to disappear into the night sky. So many people to harass, so little time. Combat: MiG-25PD Foxbat-E begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. "... Or maybe I could find a way to put something inside of him. Yes! Something that is activated when he Transforms. And that prevents him from transforming back. And he has to move at, hm, say fifty miles an hour at all times or he explodes." Onslaught has forgotten about the cigar that's burning in his hand and hasn't heard a thing that Blast Off or Blitzwing have said lately. "Yes. I do believe this idea has merit and value." With a grin on his features, he flicks the cigar off in Blast Off's direction. "Pretend I complimented you on whatever you were talking to me about. I have plans to make!" And Onslaught transforms back down into the Missile Trailer, revving up his engine in preparation of time to ride out! Blast Off gets knocked aside by the larger mech, then finds a knife to his throat. He continues to glare steadily up at Blitzwing, unwilling to show any fear... though he is feeling some. Still probably not as much as he really ought to, however, thanks to the ego. And he DID send Blitzwing packing once... he's sure he can do it again. He continues to glare as Blitzwing flies off. "Turbo-tailing again?" He mutters... Scratching yet another itch, he turns in time to see Onslaught start to head off as well. "So- what do you think? Haven't I done enough by now? If you would just... perhaps..." he apuses, "..speak to Galvatron, let him know my worth, he'd see I've proven it already... and see that this "punishment" is totally unneccesary!" He reaches down and grabs a fallen piece of heat shield, desperately waving it in Onslaught's direction. "How am I supposed to do my job well loooking like this? I haven't recharged well in cycles!!! My weapon systems are probably next!" Onslaught is not listening. He's not. He's not even got his optics out anymore since he is back into Missile Trailer mode. He's pretty sure that Blast Off is saying something that he believes is important but right now he's got some serious insane weaponry and veritable attacks to create and he's not about to let his memory get filled up with the asinine vocal patterns that continuously pour from Blast Off! "Yes, yes. Good, good." The missile trailer starts off back down the road, picking up speed as if it is trying to leave Blast Off in the dust. "Stay away from the base, by the way! Your smell attracts Autobots!" Blast Off watches the truck burn rubber- well, or whatever a big, heavy truck does, with an incredulous stare. He watches for awhile. "WHERE am I SUPPOSED TO RECHARGE THEN?" The tired and frustrated shuttle throws the fragment of heat shield in Onslaught's last seen direction in frustration. Then he stands there, looking around as the sun sets and trying to figure out his next move. He scratches again, knocking off a fresh piece of shield, then rockets up into the sky. Maybe there's a nice crater on the moon he can recharge in. Far away from EVERYONE. <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Okay, Decepticons, there are going to be some changes when it comes to security protocol around here." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "What sort of changes..?" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Well, for one, the consoles are to be used ONLY for Empire stuff." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "No more Youtubes and torrenting, I mean, come on guys." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "We're better than that." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "But all of my twitter followers..." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Also, the consoles will automatically log you out after an extended period of disuse." <'Decepticon'> Onslaught says, "... are idiots." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "When I was going through and looking at everything, I saw a lot of people were leaving themselves logged in. What if we had a spy in our midst? They would just be able to use the console where it was left." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Onslaught, that is a run-on sentence. Pffft." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "I refuse to let any of our sensitive data fall into the wrong hands." Blitzwing vanishes out of reality. Blitzwing has left. <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "That's flawed logic, Counterpunch." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "If we continue to use the consoles for non-Empire stuff, then if we leave ourselves logged in.. they can only spy on non-Empire stuff." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Ugh." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "You're all pathetic." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "WHOA" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Yeah, you tell 'em Harrow." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "All the rest of you are pathetic." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Don't be such a Negative Nancy, Doc." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "The point is you shouldn't be leaving yourself logged in in the first place, BACKFIRE." <'Decepticon'> Onslaught says, "Here's a thought. Kill all the Autobots. Problem solved." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Hnn." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Also, from now on, assume everything you say is being heard." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "That's very suspicious." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "I usually make that assumption regardless." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Of course it's heard, isn't that what sound does?" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "That means no overly sensitive information on channel unless it has been properly encryped by a trained individual." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I mean, unless you deactivated your own audio receptors I guess." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch sighs. <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "I'm hoping this doesn't apply to personal devices." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "What about things you don't 'say'? Like that sigh, I heard that." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "You mean like Trypticon's phone number? 1-800-458-8233" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Do whatever you want with your personal stuff, but be careful not to have anything on it should it be lost or taken by the enemy." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "So, you know, use common sense." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Hm. This is acceptable then." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Whether you find it acceptable or not is irrelevant, Scorn." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Okay, one last question.. can you define which common cents we can use? Like, a list of galactic currencies that are currently common and uncommon?" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "It is my responsibility to make sure another information leak doesn't happen again and if I decide to put certain rules in place you must comply." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Tch. Well excuse me." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "No. No excuses." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Ngh.." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Heh!" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Actually, Scorn, I don't think I trust you enough right now." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "/What/?" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Wait, did you hear what I said.. because I swear you just said what we say can be heard, and I heard what I said.. but I'm not sure you heard what I was saying while I was saying it." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "As your superior, I order you to bring me your personal electronic devices so I may see to it that no sensitive data is at risk." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "What if you lose your datapad and an Autobot picks it up?" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "How do I know there aren't launch codes loaded into it that would spell certain doom for the Empire?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Time to delete my browsing history..." <'Decepticon'> Scorn hisses, "Why would I agree to doing that? There's nothing you need to see on my personal devices." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "I'm bidding on twelve auctions right now!" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Harrow, I think you need to fix my vocal processors. Captain Counterpunch can't hear me." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "That sounds suspiciously like something someone would say if they were trying to hide something." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "A spy, perhaps." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Scorn's a spy now?" <'Decepticon'> Scorn sounds shocked, "Are you.. seriously accusing me of being a spy?? How dare you!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Backfire, your vocalizer is fine." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "On the contrary," <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "I believe you are very loyal to the Empire.." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Well, to be fair.. you were an Inseekticlone queen or something Scorn." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Hn, now's not the time, Backfire..." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "I do, however, have concerns about your flirtatious habits." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "That should be no concern of yours. Ever." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Haha!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Sorry." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Nice. Blackmail." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Actually, it is very much my concern." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "What if who you think is an easy mark is actually conning you?" <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Impossible." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Is it?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Impossibru!" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "I don't believe in 'impossible.' There is always a risk, there is always a possibility." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Yes. Do you really think I don't read up on my targets? That I just go about willy nilly?" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Partner Blitzwing, Lord Cyclonus wants us to raid Earth and cause collateral damage." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Can you safely say you know everything about everyone, Scorn?" <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "No. And that's why I don't go after /everyone/. I'm not an idiot." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Go for New Jersey first! It's horrible. And it's /packed/ with humans." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Yeah, what do you take us for Counterpunch? Idiots?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Ugh, seriously? I'm in the middle of a crazy CTF match in Halo 43 right now." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Oh, I apologize. I assumed you were lacking in the mental department considering how heavily you rely on your physical 'talents.'" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I have already done that, Backfire. I'm standing here and observing the MASSIVE damage I have inflicted on the Hoover Dam. ...I just thought I'd point that out again." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Well, when you're not busy stroking your ego Babe Off.. we could use your help." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Aha! Look at that, Blast Off is a real go-getter!" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "What is 'CTF'?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "We... we can't be friends anymore." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire gasps. <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Which would be my battle prowess, thank you very much." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "....The name is Blast Off. And certainly. Anything that "proves my worth". Which is considerable. ...Yes, Harrow, I suppose you could say so." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "We were friends?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Shit." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Heh. Battle prowess.." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "I suppose that's a nice way to put it." <'Decepticon'> Scorn can be heard grinding her teeth a little. "Hnn.." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Babe Off is probably still tripping from those crazy pills Harrow gave him." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Keep denying it, Blitzwing. It won't change the truth that I sent you packing." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "He is probably literally preening right now like a bird." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Blasty wanna cracker?" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I.. want one." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Feel free to experience my "talons" again anytime, Blitzwing." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Perhaps you could show me your 'battle prowess' in private and perhaps I could make an exception to scrubbing your personal devices." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Whoa, not on the second date, Babe Off." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "What the hell is going on." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "When did this conversation derail." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "..." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Heh. Just name the place and time and it's a date." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "He actually thinks he is a bird. -______-" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Way to go, Harrow." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "SCIENCE!" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Sweep alert, someone is using trademarked talons!" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, ".... I do NOT think I'm a bird. But I do fly... there are... similarities in phrases of speech, that's all." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "I think Blast Off is becoming less arrogant." <'Decepticon'> Harrow scribbles notes. <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "See? I'm confused now. Harrow didn't say she was scribbling something, but I heard it. I thought you said only what we said was being heard?" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Shut UP you IMPUDENT FOOL." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Is this another test?" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "No one cares about what you have to SAY." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "You two really are related. With the whole 'fool' thing and all." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "NO!" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "NO!" <'Decepticon'> Scorn chuckles. <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Yes, that's it, I'm certain I'm becoming less... wait, when have I been arrogant? Just because I like to celebrate my skills and successes?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Let us know when you end up having one of those." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Hahahaha, good one Partner!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "To to quite honest, everyone in this Empire save for a select few enjoys celebrating their successes." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I'm LOOKING at one right now. You saw it yourself. Pinnacle of fleshling engineering- destroyed!" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Not to mention defeating YOU in the training room....." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Well- yes, exactly Harrow. See? nothing unusual about me at all...." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Aha, that wasn't Blitzwing.. that was me in disguise." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "And you were fooled into thinking it was him, so in reality.. I won." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "What? ...I? Harrow? HARROW. THERE is the mech you need to make an appointment for." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "There is no helping Backfire." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Ha ha ha." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "That is... probably true." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "You can't fix perfection, my friend." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "....... Right. Sure." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "I don't know what's wrong with him." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "In reality, I feel sorry for all of you." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "I wouldn't call a dam the pinnacle of human engineering." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "BUT! He is more functional than Blueshift, I'll say that." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Living in my shadow, must be hard." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Beavers make dams, sheesh." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Dream big, Babe Off." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "IT'S A REALLY BIG ONE, OKAY?" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I've been told, size doesn't matter." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing whispers, 'That's what Scorn said' <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "I heard that." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off coughs. <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Because he said it, duh." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "BLAST OFF ARE YOU ILL!?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "BACKFIRE DONT BE SO UNCOUTH" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Weren't you paying attention to what Counterpunch said? What we say can be heard now." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I don't know the meaning of the word!" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire really doesn't. <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Touche." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "DON'T YOU USE "UNCOUTH"! You are the most uncouth mech of them all, Blitzwing!" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "WHY ARE WE YELLING?" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "LOUD NOISES!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Sign up with the Empire they said..." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Doesn't that mean that I /should/ be using the word. I mean, I am the example. If you are being as uncouth as I am, someone oughta say something. And it oughta be me. Don't you think?" <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "I hear yah, Harrow." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Well, naturally my Partner's uncouthiness rubbed off on me." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Don't talk about you and I and rubbing ever again." <'Decepticon'> Scorn snorts. <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "So, is this a bad time to talk about our rubsigns.. Partner?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "That makes no sen... I mean... wait." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Yes. Forever and always hereafter." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "And, for your information, I am quite healthy, Harrow. Not ill at all." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Other than this rust spot." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Scorn sounds ill, though. Babe Off, you may be contagious. I think you have Avian Flu." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Ill? What are you on about?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I have whatever the SLAG I've probably caught from cleaning up after Apeface and Snapdragon." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Harrow asked if I was ill, Scorn." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "I meant what Blitzwing said. I feel fine." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Are you sure?" <'Decepticon'> Scorn momentarily sighs, "Why would I not know if I'm fine or not?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "You may be turning into a bird." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Blitzwing, if you want to keep using avian analogies, go harrass a turbo-turkey Aerialbot." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "And I think you've been hanging around Blast Off and Backfire too much." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "You might not know. Certainly no one seems to believe me when I say I KNOW I'm fine. Why should you be any different?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Eh, they only break so many ways. It's getting monotonous." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Tch, I'm fine, Blast Off." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Birds eat insects, you know. S'prolly why he's interested in your well-being." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "..." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "..." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "I'm just sayin'." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "If I'm a bird, what does that make you? Hmmm... what is that animal that changes three times... goes from an egg to a tadpole to a ...oh, that's right...a toad." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "....Don't make me come over there." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "All this talk about Earth animals is stupid." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Your mom is stupid." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Blast Off, get yourself together." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Wait, if you're a toad and you're a bird.. what am I?" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Blitzwing, I will let that one slide because I don't have a mother and that comment doesn't make any sense as a result." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "An idiot." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Lame." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Hrm, I'm not familiar with that terran lifeform.. allow me to look up this 'idio.. wait a second." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I am FINE. I haven't recharged in cycles and now it looks like I won't be doing it anytime SOON either, since I won't have anywhere to GO... thanks, Onslaught. BUT REALLY I AM JUST FINE." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I can bring you some Energon, where are you located?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I am at the Hoover Dam." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Ugh, I think Snapdragon puked or something down here. Clean up on aisle three, Babe Off." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off *exasperated siiiigh* <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Eugh." <'Decepticon'> Red Alert says, "I think I feel slightly less intelligent for having listened to this conversation in full." <'Decepticon'> Red Alert says, "Please excuse me, I'll show myself the exit." <'Decepticon'> Red Alert has encrypted this channel. <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "...." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "So what was that about security and such, Counterpunch? You can't even keep the Autobots off our frequencies." <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Oooooooooooooo, sick burn!" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "Hnnng...." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Ha ha ha." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Open face plate, insert all four wheels." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Mhm. I thought so." <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "I am not trained in encryption! This is why I stressed caution about public discussions on the channel." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "I don't remember that warning." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Counterpunch I think you need to do some PSA's." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Besides, how else would be converse?" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "You obviously weren't listening." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "The more you know~~~" <'Decepticon'> Counterpunch says, "I think you may be right." Onslaught goes home. Onslaught has left. <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Blitzwing, did you get into Blast Off's meds?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off laughs. <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "No, I got into Harrow's office." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Find anything good?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Mmmmmmaybe." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "WHAT. What did you find?" <'Decepticon'> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Hey, get out of there!" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Don't worry, Backfire, I was invited." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Scout's honor." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "I certainly didn't find any medical reports about you, Babe Off. None at all." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, ".... That's it. I'm going over there." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Oooh, do tell." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Where is 'there'?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Harrow's office. Unless you're LYING or something......." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Me, lie? Perish the thought." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Mmm-hmmm." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Enjoy the trip - though I already sold everything to Swindle." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "...." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Why didn't *I* think of doing that?" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "W'...." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "~If you only had a braaain~" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "WHAT IS GOING ON!?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Red Alert broke into your office." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Counterpunch didn't lock the door properly." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I was merely ...a bit occupied at the time. Trying to fend off personal queries that were no one's business. Otheriwse, I'm sure I would have thought of that." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Filthy liar!" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Ah, see? I thought so, Blitzwing." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Filthy, maybe. Liar.........okay, maybe." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Get OUT! GET OUT YOU PSYCHOPATH! Or I'll have you lobotomized!" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "You tried that once before, remember?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Feel free to try again, Harrow!" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "I made a scrap book, I'll show it to you some time." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "/What/?!" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Sorry, I thought we were on a date." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Ugh!" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Ugh yourself! You were a little handsy." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Did you truly take pills!?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Do they count if they're still in powder form?" <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Harrow" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off laughs again a bit too loud. <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Nnnghhh." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "So how are you feeling, Blitzwing?" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "If they don't count, then no. I haven't taken any pills. If they do count, well... you may want to consider a resupply." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "http://tinyurl.com/28fapva" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Blitzwing, you are not supposed to PISS OFF THE MEDICS!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Medical supplies are EXPENSIVE!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Someone isn't going to have painkillers thanks to you! I'll let them know!" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Looks like Blitzwing would LOVE some quality time with you, Harrow! See? he's breaking into your office!" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "I can't argue with that. Sign me up for quality time." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I mean a psychological visit by that, Blitzwing." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "You cannot be helped either." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Boooooo." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Some of you are FAR BEYOND GONE!" <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "You're not even trying. :(" <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "I'm a bit curious about this visit you keep talking about." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "See? And you make fun of MY mental state......" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Psychological evaluation, Scorn. TONS of fun. Really." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Why don't you see for your self?" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Let me see... Blitzwing is narcissistic, foolhardy, brazen, callous, childish, indulgent, obnoxious, vile, cruel, and very much a bully. There is no help for him." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "..i can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, Blast Off.." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "Whoa whoa WHOA. I am NOT foolhardy." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing says, "All those other ones are cool, though." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Hmph." <'Decepticon'> Blitzwing creates an eHarmony.com account for Harrow seeking large mechs who are narcissistic, foolhardy, brazen, callous, childish, indulgent, obnoxious, vile, cruel, and very much a bully. <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Blast Off seems to have NORMAL desires at times, so he has that going for him. While he is deeply arrogant and struggles to grasp reality in that regard, he craves solitude, which is somewhat common." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "I don't even want to know about Scorn." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off sighs. I... I'm... not even sure, Scorn. You try being not recharging for cycles and cleaning up after two smelly Horrorcons all day and findinf rust patches on your arms and then see how clear YOUR thinking is. <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Oh you, Harrow~." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Hnnnn. You hiss a lot." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Ugh, don't talk about Horrorcons.." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "And? You say fool a lot, dear." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I don't have a problem grasping reality. Everyone else just has trouble grasping the concept of my total awesomeness, is all." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "FOOL!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "I don't know what you're talking about." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Did your aft get stuck in the door again, see to it." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Tch. Well at least I'm not /back heavy/." <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "WHAT." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "I'd love not to talk of Horrorcons, Scorn, but when you have to clean up after them all day... they tend to stick in your mind. ...And ...parts of them tend to stick everywhere else. *shudder*" <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Really, how do you walk through doors with those giant turbochicken wings." <'Decepticon'> Harrow sputters. <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "That's what I thought." <'Decepticon'> Harrow puts some sort of growth hormone in Scorn's energon. >:IIII <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Now then. When can I see you, hmmm~?" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "I'll see if I can fit you in... in a few days. FOR THE EMPIRE!" <'Decepticon'> Harrow mutters, "I was not trained for this." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Excellent. Maybe I can pick your processor a little as well..." <'Decepticon'> Harrow titters. "I'm sure you'll find it unpleasant." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "Finally. Now perhaps you can focus on someone who truly NEEDS your help, Harrow." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "..This is me we're talking about. You really think I'd be phased?" <'Decepticon'> Harrow says, "Who knows. You're not off the hook, Blast Off!" <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "Wait. Who said anything about /need/?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "But I'm sure you'll be quite busy with Scorn for awhile." <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "You actually WANTED to visit Harrow in her office. You must admit, that counts as pretty crazy." <'Decepticon'> Scorn says, "What better way to wittle away work time than answering questions on a comfortalbe couch?" <'Decepticon'> Blast Off says, "You... have a point."